• Tara Humphrey

Why We Need To Stop Saying Sorry

Updated: Jun 11, 2020

I recently had a day where I felt I was non-stop apologising for simply EVERYTHING.

Emails started with;

  • Sorry for bothering you but………

  • Sorry if I misunderstood but please could you just clarify………..

  • Sorry for chasing but we need this report for ………..

Now whilst I am sorry for interrupting my client’s day when I understand and appreciate how extremely busy they are, however, after a while, I did start to think why am I apologising when I haven’t actually done anything wrong??

As a consultant delivering a service, I’m hired to deliver large and small scale projects and keep things moving forward. This requires constant communication to; direct, coordinate and understand how all the pieces of the puzzle fit together.

I mentioned this to my business coach and some friends and their advice to me was the following, and I know this will help you too.

Replace saying sorry with gratitude.

For example: Instead of starting with saying sorry….start with saying:

  • Thank you for providing me with the following information A, could you now confirm ……….

  • I appreciate how busy you are and if it’s better for me to direct these questions at someone else on your team, please let me know.

My coach also helped me to see that the constant apologising reflected that I wasn’t feeling as confident as I usually am.

We all have these days, don’t we? (please say yes 😊)

For me, I am most confident when I feel prepared and manage my time well. Checklists, meeting agendas, action logs and question templates are my armoury, and I need to use these. This doesn’t mean I can’t think on my feet and deal with unexpected issues…. But the comfort and confidence that being prepared gives me, enables me to take everything in my stride, and on these days;

  • I’m not apologising for asking questions… It’s my job.

  • I’m not apologising for communicating the latest developments with my client…. It’s necessary for me to do this to ensure we all remain on the same page.

  • I’m not apologising for clarifying my understanding of aspects…. This is required for me to enable the project to deliver the intended results.

Do you ever find yourself apologising unnecessarily? If so, I hope this blog highlights that you are not the only one and the little tips offered help you to overcome this.

For more insights, please check out https://www.thcprimarycare.co.uk/blog